Beware of Destination Addiction: 3 Ways to Stop It

Beware of destination addiction, what does that mean? One of the most destructive habits I didn’t even realize I had is this concept developed by psychologist Dr. Robert Holden called “destination addiction.”

So let’s look closer at destination addiction and three practical ways to stop it.

What is Destination Addiction?

It’s a belief that success is a destination.

It’s a negative mindset because you’re preoccupied that happiness is somewhere in the future, whether in the next place, event, job, or even with a different partner.

You believe that only when you reach your goals will you finally achieve satisfaction. Of course, this is not true and that’s why they say beware of destination addiction.

Essentially you’re taking what you have for granted and not enjoying the journey, whether with the people in your life or your circumstances.

Many years ago, while scrolling on Instagram, a title immediately caught my eye that said, “Beware of destination addiction”. After reading the caption, it was an “a-ha” moment because, at the time, I knew I was stuck in this mindset.

The great news is that once you’re aware of this mindset, you can begin to change this negative thought pattern and start more thoroughly enjoying each day. 

It’s easy to get caught up in destination addiction because we’re taught since childhood to focus on our future and “end goals.” For example:

• School success = I can’t wait to graduate and get a real job.
• Romantic relationship = Once he/she changes, things will improve, and we’ll be happier.
• Finances = The never-ending “once I have more money,” I’ll live better and be happier.
• Retirement = We all know people who are unhappy in their jobs and spend their time counting down to retirement to live the “good life finally.” (This is a perfect example of being focused on the future while dreading each workday; definitely not a great way to live. I’ve been there and am glad I finally took steps to make a change.)

Beware of Falling Into a Destination Addiction Mindset

This future focus takes away from enjoying each moment and where you are.

It may not be what you imagined; life isn’t perfect, and unexpected challenges are inevitable for everyone.

But what’s important is that you are present and living in the moment.

Setting goals is essential, and planning for life changes is wise. But be mindful to avoid getting so caught up in the planning that you forget to enjoy the special little things or moments each day.

This quote from Dr. Holden is another reason to be mindful not to fall into this trap:

Destination Addiction Steals Your Joy

I found this video with Clint Gresham, a former NFL player sharing his powerful story of mental health, resilience, and faith.

He speaks about his focus on winning the Super Bowl, and I immediately thought about destination addiction.

Clint and his teammates put everything into winning, as it’s the ultimate goal for any NFL player. They spent their childhood and professional careers dreaming about it.

Here they were in the Super Bowl, and their team won!

Guess what? He felt emptiness. There was no overwhelming or lasting contentment or satisfaction that he and his teammates were expecting.

That’s a powerful example of how destination addiction steals your daily joy and takes away from enjoying the journey because of your focus on the future.

So let’s look at three ways to stop this type of thinking:

Beware of Destination Addiction: 3 Ways To Stop 🛑

1. Intentionally Live in The Present.

Do your best to live each day intentionally.

What I mean by this is being present and giving full attention to your actions or the people you’re with instead of focusing on the next big thing or daydreaming about being elsewhere.

When you think about it, this concept of destination addiction makes perfect sense.

How can you be happy in the present when your mind is somewhere else or worse when you’re engaged in negative self-talk and self-defeating messages like “my job sucks,” “life sucks,” “I hate this or that…” etc.

Your words and thoughts have power.

Focus on ones that uplift you, words that encourage and give you hope rather than negative thought patterns.

One simple thing you can do is remind yourself before meeting up with someone or going somewhere to give your full attention.

Clear your mind, even do some deep breathing, and then focus on being in the moment.

I take five minutes of quiet time each morning to say a prayer and self-love affirmations to start the day purposefully.

Other ideas to help unclutter your mind and be present:

• Listening to calming music
• Reading a daily devotional
• Try a mindfulness activity. For example, name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.
• Stretching

Related Article: 11 Simple Secrets: How to Stop Worrying and Be Happy Now

2. Make Thankfulness a Fun Habit.

Being thankful and practicing daily gratitude is essential to avoid getting stuck in the destination addiction mindset. 

When you’re grateful for what you have and where you are, you appreciate little things, which increases your joy. 

For example, how amazing your partner is for making dinner, how beautiful the sunshine is, how happy your child’s smile makes you, and so forth.

The scientific study of gratitude and positive psychology has become prominent over the past two decades.

You can read this and this article to learn more about the science of gratitude and its benefits, including reducing stress, improving sleep, cultivating deeper relationships, and improving physical and mental wellness.

Fun ideas to practice daily gratitude:

• Start a gratitude jar where you put in a little reminder of something you’re thankful for every other day or weekly.
• Start a simple gratitude journal; one or two bullet points will do. 
• Or take short notes on your phone when you’re grateful for something.

When you appreciate life and all you have, you’ll stop focusing on that “next big thing.” This is a powerful way to stop destination addiction.

3. Say No to the Comparison Trap. 🙅🏻‍♀️

Comparison is a thief of joy; always remember that when you start comparing yourself or your life to other people.

Advertising, social media and celebrity culture can negatively impact your feelings about yourself. Comparing yourself to people on social media is inevitable. Even if you’re not consciously trying to, it does happen.

Years ago, I ran a fashion blog and followed many fashion bloggers on Instagram. Comparing my life to high-profile social influencers wasn’t any fun. 

I would scroll through picture-perfect accounts with influencers looking stunning in every post, travelling to luxurious destinations every few weeks, having Pinterest-worthy fairy-tale homes, and so forth.

Unsurprisingly, this unhealthy comparison led to the trap of destination addiction. 

I often dreamed of going on that next lavish vacation, renovating my home, making more money, etc. So I knew I needed to say no to the comparison trap I was in and overcome this destination addiction mindset once and for all.

Don’t worry if you struggle with comparing yourself; you can crush this negative pattern.

Whatever you compare yourself to, acknowledge it and take steps to change it—for example, try taking a social media detox or distancing yourself from toxic people.

When you notice you’re comparing yourself, be diligent in flipping those thoughts to more positive ones about yourself and how much you’ve improved. Keep your focus on how far you’ve come! It doesn’t matter what other people have. Everyone has their own path.

Other ideas to help you stop comparing yourself:

• Unfollow social accounts that trigger insecurities.
• Focus on your strengths rather than what you lack.
• Practice positive self-love affirmations to help transform your thinking.
• Spend less time on social media.
• Be more conscious of appreciating what you have. 

Getting those material things you dream of is always short-lived gratification, not a deep level of contentment or satisfaction.

Beware of Destination Addiction: Final Thoughts 💡

Destination addiction is a slippery slope. Once you’re there, it isn’t easy to feel content and satisfied with life and what you have right before your eyes.

However, the good news is that once you’re aware of this mindset, that’s the first essential step for change. You can then begin taking small steps to transform this mindset to live a more fulfilled life.

These three ideas gave you something to consider and will help you stop the destination addiction mindset. Instead, you can focus and be more present in every moment. It may take some effort, but it’s not hard, and in the end, you will be on a path to experiencing more joy.

Do you think you have destination addiction? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic; please share in the comments below.